Locked Down in Ireland
Oh my days this year has been so unpredictable to say the least. I have had the privilege of living in Ireland during 2020, which means I have spent most of 2020 in lock down. What that means is that during this Pandemic we have had very strict restrictions. In March, all of Ireland was told to stay home. We were not allowed to leave our home outside of getting groceries or going for a walk up to 3 miles of our home (for fresh air). There were Garda (police) enforcing this with check points throughout all of Ireland. In the beginning it felt bizarre and so unnatural. But I decided I didn’t want to go through a pandemic and not learn something. I began to look at my life and see that I spent most of my life in a hurry. Hurry to work, hurry to work out, hurry to travel, hurry to cook, hurry to date my husband, hurry to read, hurry to live…there was not one piece of my schedule that wasn’t in fast forward.
I became more aware of my anxiety, pressure, lack of sleep and just not a pace I wanted to continue to live.
Now, don’t get me wrong I am a type A girl and I like to get things done. I strive to be the best I can be, work hard and accomplish all the things but why did I feel so exhausted all the time?
I started realising that life had become going from one thing to the next, spending majority of my time online whether work, social media or Netflix… it was all consuming. I wasn’t leading myself or my day it was leading me. It was really hard but I started by putting my phone down at night. Actually felt like a drug addiction trying to not look at Tik Tok, Instagram, or Netflix. Slowly, and I do mean slowly, 15 minutes at a time I began to experience sleep again (imagine that, media before bed was tied to me not sleeping, hmmm). Friends started calling me telling me about all the anxiety they were having and how they were not sleeping, I realised I was not alone. I really believe that media controls us. What you watch from the news, to entertainment, to social media will impact your mood and cause you to miss out on life. “Both sin and busyness have the exact same effect- they cut your connection to God, to other people, and even to your own soul.” (Comer, John Mark).
I missed my connection with God and others and I find it ironic, I realised this all in a pandemic separated from most of the world.
I began to go for walks again, go to the park and eat lunch, ride my bike anywhere I was allowed to. I saw Ireland in a new way. I started taking food to an elderly man who was not allowed to leave his home because of the pandemic. I would talk to him for hours through the window. I realised I had lost the ability to enjoy moments big and small.
Right when I thought I was doing good, we started to get some freedom in Ireland. I immediately went back to hurry, actually to a whole ‘notha level. About 30 days of Ireland re-opening we shut back down. And this time it felt lonelier, harder and I realised I hadn’t figured out how to slow down. This time I decided to cancel Netflix, get off Tik Tok for good (I was motivated after spraining my finger from a complicated Tik Tok, no joke). I realised in this life living a slower life would be something I would have to fight for. One of the books I fell in love with over lockdown was “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Comer, theres a quote that really stood out to me:
“You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
I was like WOW, this is deep! Because of the circumstances I’m living in right now! I’m in a country that is locked down with not much allowed to happen. I really wanted to take this time in lockdown to find more inner peace for myself, for my mind, for taking time to do yoga and pilates, taking time to listen to jazz music, to read, to have my own thoughts in the morning; beyond being on my phone or watching the news which can lead me into worry and fear. Sometimes it’s just chaos and busyness, it’s not even bad things, it’s life. Why in the middle of a pandemic where there is no where to go did I feel like I was in the biggest hurry of my life?
For me, I’m blessed that I can say: I know what it looks like to live in a country that did take the extra measures to lock down and lock up, to ensure safety. I do see pros and cons with it (although devastating to watch people and businesses suffer) but for me I choose to try to learn from it all. I hope to be better for it, I want to see things that maybe I lost sight of before in the middle of lockdown madness.
But mainly, I want to deepen my relationship with God. Becoming a person that can connect as an employer, peer, friend, wife and really not take things for granted and SLOW DOWN. If you pay attention the world sells us this feeling of missing out if we don’t participate, engage 24/7 in media, binge on series that will never ever change our lives. For me I am paying attention and I invite you to check in on your soul… are you able to truly connect, love and be your best self while living in the state of hurry. For the first time ever I want to slow down and have some serious parameters around media.
I would like to end with a challenge.
“If you think your’e the exception to the rule, great - prove it. How? Turn off your phone for 24 hours straight. Just one day. Call it a digital sabbath. See if you can make it that long without writhing on the floor in a cold sweat with your teeth chattering from withdrawal, I dare you.” (Comer, John Mark).
Heres to ending 2020 with good intentions and beginning 2021 with even better ones.